I Got an "A"

November 14th, 2008

The surgical bandages have been on my feet since October 30th. I got a very brief peek at the surgeon’s work late that afternoon, when both incisions sprung a leak and the PA had to redo the dressings, but it hasn’t helped me to answer the standard questions which have popped up over the past two weeks; questions like. . . .”Why does it hurt way up there?”, “Is that a staple poking at me?”, “Are they healing well?” and “What do they Look Like!?”

Today was “answer day” (and my first time out of the house since Nov. 1st!) – time for the big reveal and answers to the questions. In short: 1) It hurts there because the incisions are longer than I envisioned (about 23 stitches in one foot & 22 stitches in the other). 2) Despite the fact the surgeon said “staples” while briefing DH after surgery, no staples were used. 3) Despite the surgeon’s conviction that I was a very bad candidate for proper healing (because of the Enbrel therapy), I am healing very well, thank-you-very-much! He was surprised, and I sort of had to rub it in a bit :)

4) “What do they look like?” Well. . . . . . .sort of a cross between duck or goose feet and something totally alien. I’ve unwrapped them a couple of times since we got home; it’s O.K. to do that, now, and I need to come to terms with this rather radical change in my self-image. Right now, I am vacillating between a healthy dose of humor (referring to my ‘new’ feet & current gait as “Quack! Quack! Waddle, Waddle.”) and cringing when I look at them. Since the latter reaction isn’t going to get me anywhere, I am trying to lean towards the humorous approach!

I’m now cleared for “a few steps at a time” – since that is what I have been doing for a week, I will take it to the next level :) To start with, I am going to venture out to preside over my miniatures club meeting tomorrow! No, I won’t be driving (or walking a great deal) – a club member is going to take me and my wheelchair to the meeting and back, but it will be a fun outing and a complete change of scene!

My stitches come out on November 25th – maybe the feet will look a little less alien then :)

** I almost forgot the Best Part: I no longer have to sleep sitting up, with my feet elevated!! YAY!

I'm walking again!

November 5th, 2008

O.K., it’s ‘shuffling along, carefully’, not ‘dancing’. . . . . .but then, I never have been able to dance well :) I’m taking it slow and easy, relying on post op boots and my spiffy red Rollator for support. It doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would, but it is exhausting! Right now, I’m limiting myself to three trips per day (bedroom to family room) before I request wheelchair help. I’ll have to work hard to get my strength back, once the surgeon approves me for more exertion!

Sorry I haven’t posted anything here since my surgery; I made a small tactical error when I assumed I would only be off-line while I was hospitalized. Each day, looking at my computer keyboard has been enough to make me want to take (another) nap. I’ve got zero energy!

In brief: Oct. 30th – my surgeon arrived in the pre-op area On Crutches!! Nope, he wasn’t teasing me; he’d had a welding accident! I opted for local anesthetic, and it worked beautifully. My surgeon told DH that he had encountered more work than he expected; there were quite a few Rheumatoid nodules present…..some of them quite large!

Oct. 31st – Yep, the pain level is about what I expected ~ pronounced (especially in the left foot), but not unbearable. The nurses are friendly and attentive, and they’re prompt with the meds my Doc approved. For someone who’s only scooting around a bit on a mattress, I sure am tired!

I was supposed to go home today, but no such luck. While taking my stats for the discharge paper-work, they discovered I was running a 103 degree fever. Hmmm, nope. . . . .not going home with that reading! At least they let me stay in my roomy, gray bell-bottoms and Casper, the Friendly Ghost T-shirt, instead of another (shudder) horrid “gown”! There’s no infection causing the fever; too many years of smoking/not enough months of healing & self-cleaning are the culprits. I need to stay hydrated, use the inhaler and breathing exerciser they handed me and cough the junk out of my lungs.

Nov. 1st – The nurses dutifully cruised into my room and did my stats throughout the night. The fever began to abate, my oxygen saturation improved a little bit (I’ll need to keep working on that), and I received a green light from the Doc after breakfast. Getting from the wheelchair into Tom’s Mustang GT was not a pretty sight! The nurse asked if I was going to ride in the back seat – - – -positive proof that he’d never attempted the contortions required to get oneself into said seat! LOL! We had the expert advice and guidance of our next-door neighbor when we tried to remove from the car here at home. (Invaluable advice – she’s a senior ER nurse at Brook Army Medical Institute (?) I think.)

Nov. 2nd – Doing only necessary moving around and spending 99.5 of my time with my feet elevated to prevent swelling. I picked up my Kindle & tried to read; couldn’t concentrate at all! Couldn’t follow the action on TV or think of words to type into my blog, either. Did a lot of napping :)

Nov. 3rd – See Nov. 2nd :)

Nov. 4th – Decided it was time to conduct a small expiriment. Could I move about, just a little bit, with the help of the post-op boots and Rolator? Yes!! As I mentioned earlier, I’m not doing a LOT of it; but I got to watch the election results come in on our big-screen TV. (Love the “Smart Boards” the news commentators use now! With limited walking comes loads of fatigue. . . .I napped off & on during the evening.

Nov. 5th – Did a bit more shuffling around, sewed a few mini yo-yo’s, got some more bad news from DS, and finally got this entry written!

Surgery Delayed – Yuck!

October 30th, 2008

I’ve had the “best of intentions” to update my blog for the past 28 days. Unfortunately, it lost out to all of the other things on my To Do list which needed to be accomplished before today’s surgery. Sooo…..here I am, house prepared for down-time and clutter cleared away, tote packed, and the surgery has been moved from 2 PM to 5 PM. Wonderful – I really needed more time to be nervous :(

For any who have missed hearing about today’s plan ~ complete removal of all ten toes, with a spinal block instead of general anesthetic. It’s rather a nerve-wracking way to go (your mind conjures pictures to go with the slight push & pull you feel), but I simply do not like the general anesthetic route!

I’m not taking my laptop with me (LOL!) so I will post a report tomorrow or Saturday. Wish me luck!

Addendum: I had just finished showering, drying my hair and packing the last of my gear in the tote when I received a call from the hospital. . . .how soon could I get to the hospital? Um, 30 minutes, maybe?! Surgery has been moved back up!

We need a bigger car – MUCH bigger!

October 3rd, 2008

We waded back into the fray at ’bout 9 AM ~ picked our ‘favorite’ parking lot and beat feet for the shop which had the spectacular light fixture we had left behind yesterday. The dealer had quoted an astounding deal for us, but this puppy is large enough that we had to do some decision making to do. Last night, Tom located very similar fixtures on line; not quite as high-end or well-designed as the one we had discovered, they were priced $1,300.00! Arriving at the shop, we both breathed a sigh of relief when the piece was still there (and the dealer remembered the offer he’d made), and four of us held our breath trying to fit it into the Mustang! It’s in, and it’s ours!! (We’re going to be holding our breath all the way to San Antonio; this beauty is loaded with glass…. beveled glass, beveled curved glass (How do they DO that?!).

Other cool finds today were another notary seal for Tom’s collection, a couple of pretty plates for my eclectic/wierd table setting habits and (hehe) a keen cabinet to be turned into a half-scale miniature scene. There was one that got away – Tom had spotted a small one-armed bandit which would have been quite at home in Casa Blackburn, but it sold before we got to the display hall this morning.

Happy (but tired, hot & weary), we left the show around 3 PM to veg out in our comfy motel room. When we check out (tomorrow morning) and attempt to fit our suitcase into the car. . . . .well, that will tell us whether we are heading back to the Fair or aiming the car towards San Antonio:) This could be a reeely tight fit!

Impromptu Vacation -Antique Heaven!

October 2nd, 2008

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed an article in our local paper about a yearly Antiques Show -or rather a huge group of shows in and around Round Top, TX. It was going to run Sept. 30th thru Oct. 4th, featured 350 dealers from all over the US (and some from Europe!), and I realized this was the show I’ve read about in several major magazines as “One of the Best”. Tom & I used to love poking through antique shops, (especially the dusty, quirky ones), but it’s something we haven’t done in a very long time. Sounded like fun, and I made an idle comment to Tom about it. Before long, Tom was talking about taking a couple of vacation days and asking whether I wanted to go antiquing. It’s something we used to love doing, something we haven’t done in ages, and YES, let’s do it!

We drove in from San Antonio today, apparently with a ‘traveler’s angel’ riding shotgun:) Absolutely everything went absolutely right! Traffic was tame, our navigation was spot-on (Garmin sort of “misplaced Schulenburg”, but our MapQuest print-out covered that glitch) and we secured a motel room with no difficulty. Re-read the last eight words of the previous sentence; they are the proof that luck was on our side. I was aware that setting off from San Antonio without reservations at a hotel or motel could result in a bit of difficulty this evening. I was not aware that popular wisdom advises seeking reservations at least two weeks before the Antique Week, preferably earlier! At 3:00 PM, Tom noticed a Best Western as we passed through Schulenburg and decided to check on room availability. On one hand, it was 30 minutes away from Round Top. . .on the other hand, it turned out to be the last motel on our drive to Round Top! We secured the last room they had available for tonight and Friday night, deposited our luggage and set off for the show with the comforting knowledge that we had a “home” for the night. When we returned to the motel at 7:30 PM, tired and frazzled fellow shoppers were trying to decide whether to drive to Seeley or Houston (!) to seek shelter!!!

The show is. . . . . . .Huge! The best ‘guesstimate’ (as it is actually many different shows run by many different people and sprawling over several small towns) is 2,500+ dealers from all over North America & Europe. In fact, I don’t think we ever reached Round Top – apparently, we dove happily into the myriad enticing booths and tents in Warrenton, TX and surfaced several hours later with only a quarter of the Warrenton show explored! We have some goodies already(thankfully, Tom found a wonderful cane to add to his collection, as I forgot to bring mine!! LOL!), and we’re going to wade back into the fray again tomorrow morning!

Oh, yes – Our first bit of serendipity occurred some 15 feet from where we parked our car. I now own a wonderfully aged and battered bakery tin, with its glass front intact. With a little foamcore board (floor) and wallpaper, it will soon be the new home of “Warrenton Bakery”!

G’night, all :)

Meme, too

September 17th, 2008

Pardon me while I wander down Meme Lane with a list recently passed from daughter, to son, to me:

1. Do you like blue cheese?
Yes

2. Have you ever smoked?
Trying not to!

3. Do you own a gun?
A rather interesting collection of them (most non-functional).

4. What flavor Kool-aid was your favorite?
Cherry

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Not really.

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Wish I could recapture the taste of a “Casper’s” hot dog (Oakland, CA – 1950′s) or the beer-infused creations of “Der Weinersnitzel” (Orange, CA – 1970′s)

7. Favorite Christmas movie?
A Christmas Story – “Fra-gi-le? Must be Italian!”

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Coffee, black, no sugar.

9. Can you do push ups?
Not with my wonky wrists!

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
Have to enter a double answer: wedding band and opal owl ring.

11. Favorite hobby?
Create & collect miniatures, crochet, cross-stitch, read

12. Do you have A.D.D
No, I can stay on-task until I’m. . . .Oh, look! A blue jay!

13. What’s one trait you hate about yourself?
Built like a beanstalk.

14. Middle Name?
Ann

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
I need to finish ironing quilt fabric. I need to finish our food order. I need to finish cleaning my studio. (Hmmm – see a trend?)

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink.
Coffee, peach tea, Merlot

17. Current Worry?
Getting enough done before foot surgery.

18. Current hate right now?
Hmm, don’t have one!

19. Favorite place to be?
Home

20. How did you bring in the New Year?
At home with DH, with DD visiting.

21. Where would you like to go?
Ireland, Scotland, Wales, New Zealand, Australia. . . . .

22. Name three people who will complete this.
No clue.

23. Do you own slippers?
Yep.

24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Brown

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
No – I like staying on the bed!

26. Can you whistle?
Nope – only one in the family who can’t.

27. Favorite color?
Foest green

28. Would you be a pirate?
Aye, matie!

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
None – the cats would revolt.

30. Favorite Girl’s name?
Aislinn (Gaelic)

31. Favorite boys name?
Logan

32. Last thing that made you laugh?
Watching our newest cat investigate our house.

33. Best bed sheets as a child?
You’re joking, right? I’m 60!

34. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Fractured pelvis

35. Do you love where you live?
Yes, but I’d love to do some work on it!

36. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two

37. Who is your loudest friend?
Millie

38. How many dogs do you have?
None

39. Does someone have a crush on you?
No

40. What is your favorite book?
“Eats, Shoots & Leaves” – Lynne Truss

41. What is your favorite candy?
Dark chocolate

42. Favorite sports team?
USC Trojans

43. What songs do you want played at your funeral?
Something raucous & cheerful :)

44. What is your favorite place to shop? Amazon.com

*Could we start again, please?

August 13th, 2008

* Jesus Christ Superstar (Revival) – Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice.

I Really, REALLY dislike meeting new doctors! There’s always a “learning curve”, during which they flex their medical credentials and I counter with 26 years of my own experience with RA. It doesn’t matter, very much, if it is a dental surgeon or an orthopedic surgeon, an orthotics expert or a new GP ~ I have to give them a crash course in ‘Chris Blackburn – Informed & Stubborn Patient’. It doesn’t always go smoothly. . . . . OK – it rarely goes smoothly! Medical professionals expect their statements to be taken as gospel. Um, No. Not likely with this patient!

I met the orthopedic surgeon this afternoon – the man who will be operating on my feet and making it possible for me to walk with much less pain . . .maybe. Granted, he did have the good sense to recognize that joint fusion is not a viable option for me. (One point for ‘his side’ – - -if you have a chronic illness, you tend to develop a somewhat adversarial role with the parade of physicians you have to deal with; not all of them, hopefully, but new ones must always be vetted!).

We traded some of the usual chit-chat. . . .his opportunity to try to figure me out & my opportunity to listen for possible attitude problems and send up a few signal flags;) He then proceeded to explain what he would do – he even had visual aids (copies of the six x-rays taken minutes before I met him.) Total bi-lateral amputation of all ten toes. After a moment of silence (while I digested this rather welcome news), I realized that he was expecting me to either start sobbing or become downright hysterical……his right hand was resting on a box of facial tissue and he was “leaning” (OK – which family member can cite the movie title first?) toward me. I have no doubt my immediate acceptance, lack of drama and chuckled comment (“Shoot, I’ve been wishing for that for years!) branded me as a lunatic rather than a realist :o ) Even I could recognize that my reaction was not “normal” – hehe, I haven’t been “normal” for a very long time!

I’d have been more concerned about explaining that I wasn’t nuts if the “dear doctor” hadn’t chosen that exact moment to place himself well out on a couple of ‘tree limbs’! Fortunately for him, one of his chosen limbs was sound and strong; he firmly stated that I must quit smoking before the surgery could take place. While I wasn’t happy about this edict, I knew he was right. (Cut me a bit of slack here,please – the only times I have managed to successfully cut myself off from the nicotine addiction have been my two pregnancies!) The other limb he ventured out on seemed immediately suspect/overly cautious/ridiculous – - – I had to be off of my Enbrel injections for six months before he would be willing to operate!? Excuse me? Enbrel is still the only drug which has brought about a remission in my RA activity! “You want me off of it for how long???

I left the orthopedic clinic feeling a mixture of relief and panic – relief that someone was finally discussing a solution & panic that I could potentially be off of the Enbrel therapy for 10-12 months (pre-surgical & post surgical delay). Called DH from my car phone , and then called my Rheumatologist’s office to request an Rx for Chantix (a stop-smoking aid.) Overall, I feel rather beaten up – hence the title.

When Your Doctor Growls. . . .

August 1st, 2008

I knew “Dr. P” (my Rheumatologist) was going to be less than pleased to see me in a ‘walking boot’, but that didn’t half cover his mood when I discussed my upcoming appointment with the orthopedic surgeon!

The rest of the “maintenance visit” went fine; we’re both delighted that I have responded quickly (again) to the Enbrel therapy, the Dexa scan (bone density test) read rather well for an old broad and he was impressed at how well the ‘attempted amputation’ had healed.

Then I told him I was scheduled to see Dr. B. on August 13th, to discuss surgery on both feet – that is when he began to growl! I understand (and agree); we’re both expecting the proposal to be joint fusion, and that’s a very bad idea on so many levels!

We’ll see:)

Oh, BTW – I drove myself to my regular appointment with “Dr. P” this afternoon. I’m back to running most of the errands, though it’s very tiring. Cannot operate the accelerator or brake with the walking boot on, so it’s 1) Drive with the right foot protectively wrapped, 2) Park and put the boot on, 3) Return to car and begin again with #1. Tiring, but it works.

Goodbye, Sweet Sundance

July 31st, 2008

Today was the day every person owned by a cat (or dog) dreads. . . . .the day one has to say Goodbye.

Sundance and his sister, Cassidy, came to us as near-newborn kittens after a huge rain storm in the summer of 1999. When son Thomas brought them to me, their eyes weren’t open yet, and their ears didn’t “appear” for several days. We bottle fed the two of them, and Sundance’s playful but assertive nature showed up from the very beginning. Cassidy would nurse hungrily, but it was easy to keep a grip on her and on the bottle. Sundance? He would wiggle, squirm, and quite often yank the nipple right out of the bottle! There we would be; suddenly bathed in formula, and Sundance demanding “more food – right NOW”!

He and his sister grew up to be very large, affectionate cats. . . .but Sundance was always the one who gave kisses and stole everyone’s heart. He nearly always wanted to be where his people were, and he carefully investigated the work of every repairmen who ever entered our house! He would station himself on a table or counter, waiting patiently for one of us to walk by. . . .when we did, he would stick out a paw and bat at us, clearly saying “Hey! I need petting!” When he really wanted attention, he would wait till someone (most often his “Daddy”, Tom) petted him and then he would walk his front paws up the petter’s chest to their shoulder; “Carry me, please?”
He had other traits which were unique among the many cats which have ruled our home: he would meow (for a snack/a faucet drink/ a cuddle), or just be hanging out with us and yawn, and leave just a little bit of his pink tongue sticking out, sometimes for quite a long time:) I called it his “bliss mode” . He would also express complete contentment with a “lip smacking” behavior – I’ve always attributed it to his ‘bottle baby’ start in life.

Sundance had cancer surgery in 2005. We so easily could have lost him then. I am so very grateful for the extra years of his affection and companionship we were given! I am so glad that our darling grand-daughter learned “Kee Kat” (Kitty Cat) while pursuing him through our house, and learned how soft cat fur is by burying her face in his soft fur.

Recently, he hasn’t quite been his usual self, and he’s been losing weight. In a been-there-done-that sort of way, we knew the cancer had probably returned. . . . .but he’d survived this once before, right? He’s stronger this time, right? I took him to our wonderful Alamo Feline Clinic at 9:15 this morning. (They performed the surgery in ’05, and have saved our “grand-cat”, Blanco, twice.) Even though he wasn’t feeling well, he gave cuddles to the vet and the technician, making new friends. When the vet carried him off to the surgical suite, it was in Sundance’s favorite shoulder-perch mode.

At 10:15 am, I got the call – Sundance was still asleep, but the cancer had spread much, much further this time. . . .chemo would give him (at best) nine months, and they wouldn’t be good quality, comfortable months for him. I had to make the decision that was best for him, and I did. I asked the vet not to let him wake up from the anesthesia :(

Goodbye, Sweet Sundance. Play with the other loving pets at the Rainbow Bridge and wait for me; I promise I will come get you when it is time.

*Up, Down, In, Out – Any Way the Wind Blows!

July 21st, 2008

* “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” -1960 – lyrics by By Dunham.

Today has been a bit of a roller-coaster ride! I had an appointment with our family doctor this morning…… although I had scheduled this before breaking my toe and had planned on discussing other issues, I knew The Foot (which won’t fit into a shoe or slipper) was going to garner attention the most attention. Oh yeah! Dear, sweet Dr. R sort of skimmed through my other questions and concerns, focused on the obviously broken and misaligned toe, ordered x-rays and went just slightly ballistic. Vocal alarms were sounded – “very bad break”, “must see surgeon immediately!” (Aw, come on. . . .all of the toes are dislocated; what’s the big deal?) Um, yes – that’s when my “ticket” for the ride was issued!

DH & I left the clinic with a surgeon referral in hand, but I spent awhile at home going over the pros & cons. On one hand (foot?), the surgeon is sure to say the broken toe is the least of my problems ; on the other hand, Dr. R will expect proof that something was done before I see her again on September 2nd! O.K. – - -but I’ll do this my way, with an orthopedic group I’m familiar with.

I called for an appointment this afternoon, explained the problem and waited to be given an appointment a few (or many) days hence. “Can you be here tonight at 6:30?” Um, yikes! I guess so! (Hmm, that’s awfully fast. Maybe I’m not taking this seriously enough?)

Tom & I made our way to their north-east clinic location (why, oh why couldn’t it be their clinic much nearer to us?!) through San Antonio’s somewhat vicious rush hour traffic, armed with the x-rays taken this morning. With a minimum of fuss and paperwork, we were whisked into what looked like a cast room/recovery area. (Uh, is this a good thing?) A few minutes later, we watched as a doctor clipped x-rays to a nearby light- frame, traced portions of the film with one finger and developed a very comical & bewildered look. DH commented “That must be your doctor; the x-rays are confusing him!” Yep,”Dr. Confused” came to my cubicle, introduced himself and blurted “What is going on with your feet?! Hehe – after he examined them, he understood why the x-rays didn’t show any of the phalanges (bones in the toes) meeting properly. . . . . .They Don’t!!!

His diagnosis: Ta Da – - -the broken toe is the least of my problems! (Oh gee- what a monumental surprise!) I came home in a walking boot, with an appointment to see one of the groups surgeons who is familiar with Rheumatoid Arthritis and its complications. I’ll see Dr. B on August 13th. Phew – it has been a long & roller coaster like day!